Stuff You Need To Know

“Jersey Shore” Morons tell NJ Gov. to “Suck It.”

It’s official!  You don’t futz with the cast of MTV’s “Jersey Shore”, even if you ARE the governor of New Jersey.  Cuz they’ll lay the smackdown on you like the Jabrone you are, ya fat frickin’ mook!

“Our show is about coming to the shore and having a good time,” Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi told NBC’s The Today Show Thursday. “You don’t have to be from New Jersey. The shore is about getting a shore house. You can be from you know, Connecticut, whatever, New York. You come down here and have a good time.”

Snooki’s comments come days after Christie, the newly-minted New Jersey governor, said the show is an “unrealistic” and “negative” portrayal of his beloved Garden State, and encouraged Americans to vacation on the state’s shoreline despite what they see on MTV.

I Hate to Be the First to Tell You This, But…

It’s official.  Sara Gilbert, Rosanne’s youngest daughter in that horrible “Rosanne” show, is a (choke, gasp) LESBIAN!  Watch for stock prices to plummet as the markets react to this startling news with turmoil and uncertainty.

Way to Tough It Out, Julia!

It’s official.  Julia Roberts did not… did NOT… rely on a spit bucket during her pizza-eating scene in “Eat, Pray, Love.”  This will be an inspiration to the rest of us who ALSO eschew the spit bucket when eating pizza.

Pay Up, Deadbeat!

It’s official.  Comcast is run by idiots.  Let’s give them their own network.

This Would Explain the Popularity of Sarah Palin

It’s official.  We’re a nation of morons.

SUPERLUCHAS!

It’s official.  In Mexico, professional wrestling is REAL!

Let’s Respect his Privacy by Putting This on the Internet.

It’s official.  Former NBA star Lorenzen Wright was found dead in the woods near Memphis.

Would a Terrorist Website Have a Cute Baby Picture ?

You Tell Me!  (If the above link doesn’t work, try this…

عکس های بامزه از بچه ها

نوشته‌شده در 28 جولای 2010 به‌دست axruz

I Have One Question About This One:

Did she give birth to and then smother all 8 babies the same day, or was this over a span of years?

And now you’re up to date.

I Still Make a Damn Fine Cup of Coffee!

As I slide into my second decade with Parkinson’s disease, the list of things I can no longer do is much longer than the list of things I am still able to accomplish.

But I can still make a DAMN fine cup of coffee!

Thanks to my Cuisinart espresso maker, I make a “wake you up with a kiss and a slap” cup of DELICIOUS coffee.  I don’t futz with the milk steamer.  (Here’s a shortcut for you — thank me later.)  I fill a shot glass with flavored creamer, nuke it for 45 seconds, and there yuh go, pardner!

I am generally up before Gail in the morning, so I try to have all the fixings in place so I can poot out that first cuppa coffee for her within minutes of her arising.  I fear what would happen otherwise.

The Same Poodles Who Stained the Rug Claim They’re Housebroken Now, Want to Come Inside

Of course they’re calling it “Political Quackery!”  The last thing the Republicans want ANYONE to think about is how badly they screwed the pooch the last time they were in charge!

The National Republican Congressional Committee all but accused the Democratic National Committee of ‘political quackery’ Wednesday, as the DNC rolled out a new campaign that seeks to tie the Republican Party to the Tea Party movement in advance of the upcoming midterm elections.

The DNC initiative includes a ten-point agenda which national Democrats say will be the GOP’s governing agenda should Republicans win back the majority in November along with a new web video.

No telling how well it will work.  I recall during the ’92 election, the Republicans ran an ad with Slim Whitman singing “I Remember You” as they showed images of gas lines and other bad stuff that happened when Carter was president, as if that meant the same bad things would happen if Clinton won.

But still… the SAME POODLES who CRAPPED ON THE CARPET have PROMISED they have changed their ways.  They’re HOUSEBROKEN now.  Can they PLEASE come back into the house?  PLEASE?

Of course, it provides fodder for the MSM to flog this “Democwats are in TWUBBLE” meme.  But if folks will vote with their brains instead of their misplaced anger, they will REMEMBER who CAUSED this mess in the first place and NOT let the poodles back in!

This Will Make You Very Sad

Gail and I are sitting there watching the last bit of the Colbert Report repeat from the night before.  We hear someone rattling the doggie food bowl.  Gail walks over to the bowls, and this is what she sees.

She was on her last legs… very weak, not having eaten in — what?  Hours?

She was so… SO… sad.  And so very, very weak!

Someone, quick!  Call the ASPCA!

The Schmalfeldt Internet Memorial

Was chatting with my sister earlier today.  She was concerned that my older sister’s Facebook page might be removed because of lack of activity.  I suggested creating an official Schmalfeldt Memorial page on the Internet for those of us who spring from the gene pool that is John and Genevieve Schmalfeldt.

Check it out when you get a chance.  And share your comments.  If you have pictures, send ’em to me and I’ll add them to the profiles.