My World of Parkinsonian Delights

Things That Annoy Me

Stuff You Need To Know

“Jersey Shore” Morons tell NJ Gov. to “Suck It.”

It’s official!  You don’t futz with the cast of MTV’s “Jersey Shore”, even if you ARE the governor of New Jersey.  Cuz they’ll lay the smackdown on you like the Jabrone you are, ya fat frickin’ mook!

“Our show is about coming to the shore and having a good time,” Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi told NBC’s The Today Show Thursday. “You don’t have to be from New Jersey. The shore is about getting a shore house. You can be from you know, Connecticut, whatever, New York. You come down here and have a good time.”

Snooki’s comments come days after Christie, the newly-minted New Jersey governor, said the show is an “unrealistic” and “negative” portrayal of his beloved Garden State, and encouraged Americans to vacation on the state’s shoreline despite what they see on MTV.

I Hate to Be the First to Tell You This, But…

It’s official.  Sara Gilbert, Rosanne’s youngest daughter in that horrible “Rosanne” show, is a (choke, gasp) LESBIAN!  Watch for stock prices to plummet as the markets react to this startling news with turmoil and uncertainty.

Way to Tough It Out, Julia!

It’s official.  Julia Roberts did not… did NOT… rely on a spit bucket during her pizza-eating scene in “Eat, Pray, Love.”  This will be an inspiration to the rest of us who ALSO eschew the spit bucket when eating pizza.

Pay Up, Deadbeat!

It’s official.  Comcast is run by idiots.  Let’s give them their own network.

This Would Explain the Popularity of Sarah Palin

It’s official.  We’re a nation of morons.

SUPERLUCHAS!

It’s official.  In Mexico, professional wrestling is REAL!

Let’s Respect his Privacy by Putting This on the Internet.

It’s official.  Former NBA star Lorenzen Wright was found dead in the woods near Memphis.

Would a Terrorist Website Have a Cute Baby Picture ?

You Tell Me!  (If the above link doesn’t work, try this…

عکس های بامزه از بچه ها

نوشته‌شده در 28 جولای 2010 به‌دست axruz

I Have One Question About This One:

Did she give birth to and then smother all 8 babies the same day, or was this over a span of years?

And now you’re up to date.

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The Same Poodles Who Stained the Rug Claim They’re Housebroken Now, Want to Come Inside

Of course they’re calling it “Political Quackery!”  The last thing the Republicans want ANYONE to think about is how badly they screwed the pooch the last time they were in charge!

The National Republican Congressional Committee all but accused the Democratic National Committee of ‘political quackery’ Wednesday, as the DNC rolled out a new campaign that seeks to tie the Republican Party to the Tea Party movement in advance of the upcoming midterm elections.

The DNC initiative includes a ten-point agenda which national Democrats say will be the GOP’s governing agenda should Republicans win back the majority in November along with a new web video.

No telling how well it will work.  I recall during the ’92 election, the Republicans ran an ad with Slim Whitman singing “I Remember You” as they showed images of gas lines and other bad stuff that happened when Carter was president, as if that meant the same bad things would happen if Clinton won.

But still… the SAME POODLES who CRAPPED ON THE CARPET have PROMISED they have changed their ways.  They’re HOUSEBROKEN now.  Can they PLEASE come back into the house?  PLEASE?

Of course, it provides fodder for the MSM to flog this “Democwats are in TWUBBLE” meme.  But if folks will vote with their brains instead of their misplaced anger, they will REMEMBER who CAUSED this mess in the first place and NOT let the poodles back in!


President Obama? MAN UP!!!

Two words for President Obama this morning.  MAN UP!

This whole Sherrod situation at USDA is symptomatic of what is fundamentally wrong with the Obama White House.  The people around Obama, his advisers, are so pee-in-their-pants SCARED of what Glenn Beck is gonna say, what Bill O’Reilly is gonna say, what Rush Limbaugh is gonna say, what Sean Hannity is gonna say, and what the Aryan Beauty Queens on Fox News are gonna say that they ACT without THINKING!

“Eeeek!  A conservative hack named Breitbart who phonied up some video of ACORN doing business with a fake pimp and a ho’ has posted a clip of a video which, taken by itself, makes a black lady look racist!  SHE MUST BE FIRED!”

My wife, who is NOT a member of the administration, saw the same video everyone else did the other morning.  She asked me, “Are they sure this is the whole video, that there isn’t more to this?”  Then she took the dogs outside.

Now, we have the picture of an administration that cowers every time some racist pinhead rears his ugly head.

What can Obama do?  Like I said, MAN UP!  You were a great candidate, but I’m thinking of you more and more as a one-term president unless you resurrect CANDIDATE Obama and put your so-far milquetoast president act in the closet.

YOU WON THE ELECTION!  Yet, the people who advise you have you bending over backward to kiss the asses of Republicans and Conservatives who wouldn’t piss on you if you were on fire!  IT’S THEIR PLAN, Mr. Obama!  They are hoping we’re so stupid out here in the electorate that we’ll FORGET how they FUBAR’d the economy and everything else and put THEM back in charge if they can keep YOU from getting anything done!  And you’ve done good things!

The watered down health care bill?  Better than nothing.

The watered down economic reform bill?  Better than nothing.

The watered down Recovery Act?  Better than nothing.

But EACH TIME you allowed the GOP to strip out provisions that would have made these bills BETTER to show yourself to be a post-partisan… and they STILL pissed on your wingtips!

REPUBLICANS AND THEIR TEA-PARTY MOB HAVE ONE GOAL, President Obama, and that’s to get rid of YOU!  Nothing you can ever say, nothing you can ever do will get them to offer you a single word of support!  It’s their JOB to consign you to the dustbin of history so they can resume their enriching of the upper classes at the expense of the middle class and poor.

I mean, LOOK at these people who are making you jump through hoops!  They deny benefits to the unemployed because “it encourages laziness”.  They want to repeal your health care reforms because “people should only get the kind of health care they can afford!”  They want to repeal your economic reforms because “if stupid people take out loans they can’t afford because the bank convinced them they COULD afford them, is that the BANK’s fault?”

If you were to display even a LITTLE of the fire you showed during the ’08 campaign, how in the WORLD could the GOP win on THOSE platforms?  FOR the insurance companies.  FOR the Wall Street Fat Cats.  FOR the corporations.

Be FOR THE PEOPLE, Mr. President, and do so FORCEFULLY, you can win them back!

It’s time to MAN UP!

GET RID of the people who are telling you to accommodate the GOP.  GET RID of your advisers who are giving you bad advice.  TO HELL with what Beck and O’Reilly and Limbaugh and Hannity say!

You ran on a platform we believed in.  You WON the election.

Before it’s too late and we find ourselves at peril of a President Palin, it’s time you started ACTING like you won the election!

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Eeeek! Muslims! Eeeek!

Muslims ate my baby!

Muslims tipped over my garbage and made a mess.

Muslims kept me up all night with their incessant ululating.

Muslims ruined my fish fry with their call to prayer from their mosque minarets.

Muslims killed my cat.

Muslims marked their territory in my yard by peeing on the side of my house.

Muslims dumped a shitload of oil in the Gulf of Mexico and now they’re dancing in the streets on the West Bank.

Muslims caused 5.4 million people around the world to die from smoking,  Muslims killed over 16,000 Americans in 2006 by drunk driving.

Muslims killed Michael Jackson.

Muslims pushed Zsa Zsa Gabor out of her bed and broke her hip, poor thing.

Muslims caused BOTH Space Shuttle disasters!

The mysterious “second gunman” behind the grassy knoll in Dallas in November 1963?  Muslim!

Muslims fed cookies and drugs to Anna Nicole Smith until she got fat and overdosed.

Muslims caused my Parkinson’s disease.

We can not allow Muslims to have a mosque community center within two blocks of the World Trade Center site.  That will make it TOO EASY for them to BLOW IT UP AGAIN as soon as it’s finished.

We can not allow Muslims to have a mosque community center in Mid-Tennessee because that’s where JESUS lives!

We can not allow Muslims ANY rights WHATSOEVER, because if you give them an inch they’ll blow up a car in Time Square… or at least, they’ll try to.  Or they could try to set their underwear on fire.  Or they could try to ignite a shoe bomb.

We must FEAR the Muslims.  They HATE us because of our FREEDOMS!  So, let’s get RID of those pesky freedoms — the 4th Amendment means VICTORY for Muslims.  Needing to get a warrant to tap a phone line means Osama HIMSELF can place a collect phone call to your mother!  Freedom of religion, as any American history scholar knows, only applies to WHITE, CHRISTIAN religions, although certain allowances can be made for the Negros (if they keep their yaps shut about equality or else, BOOM!) and Jews (as long as they keep that stuff up in New York and not in the Bible Belt.)

There is NO ROOM in our society for these brown, dark-skinned, swarthy, coarse-haired, well-tanned, worshippers of a false, smelly “god.”  And if we sometimes mistake a Hindu for a Muslim and blow up their storefronts, well… that’s the price you pay for LOOKING kinda like a Muslim.

This country was founded on FREEDOM.  And that means the freedom to believe in JESUS any way you want to.

And that’s why I’m against building a mosque community center in New York City near Ground Zero.

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Are You “Extremely Patriotic” Today?

It’s one of the more ridiculous polls I’ve ever seen on MSNBC or any other cable news network.  Actually, it’s a USA Today poll.

Rush Limbaugh Cartoon by Ian D. Marsden of mar...
Image via Wikipedia

Poll: More Americans ‘extremely patriotic’

Nearly a third of Americans describe themselves as “extremely patriotic,” and the number has been steadily on the rise since 1999, a new USA TODAY/Gallup Poll shows.

As the nation heads into the Fourth of July weekend, 32% of Americans are feeling “extremely patriotic,” up 6 percentage points from 2005 and 13 percentage points from 1999.

The poll finds that the biggest gains on the patriotic front are among Republicans, conservatives and seniors. The number of Republicans and conservatives who describe their patriotism as running high has increased 24 percentage points since 1999. Part of that increase may be driven by the Tea Party movement. As USA TODAY’s Susan Page points out today, 85% of Tea Party followers describe themselves as extremely or very patriotic.

No surprise there.  But what do we mean by “patriotic”?

You fly the flag on National Holidays?  Empty gesture. You’re telling your neighbors, who are also Americans, that YOU are American, too.

You wear a flag pin?  Empty gesture. Should your patriotism be judged by your actions, or by your choice of “bling”?

You salute during the Pledge or the Anthem?  Empty gesture. Anyone can do that, even cloistered Russian spies living among us in the suburbs.

Or…

Do you follow the news — not the RNC press releases regurgitated by Fox News — to develop your own sense of what’s going on in America?  That could be patriotic.

Do you have a desire to “do so something” for folks in trouble?  Folks harmed by the oil spill?  Folks still recovering from Katrina?  That could be patriotic.

When your elderly neighbor is mowing her lawn on a hot day, do you offer to help?  That could be patriotic.

Do  you study the issues — and THEN vote?  That’s VERY patriotic.

So, what do we mean by “patriotic”?

Is it “patriotic” to buy up a bunch of fireworks that are illegal in your state and shoot them off for the six nights BEFORE the 4th and the 8 nights AFTER?  Or is that just the typically American “love of blowin’ stuff up and scaring my dogs”?

Is it “patriotic” to refer to your lawfully elected President with racist terminology?  To call him a “socialist” when you don’t even know what that word really means?  To compare him to Hiltler?  Stalin?  To equate him with America’s enemies?

Is it “patriotic” to follow the “teachings” of Glenn Beck, to fear and hate and plot your revenge — armed or otherwise — against the lawfully elected government of the United States?

Is it “patriotic” for a bloated, drug-abusing radio dimwit like Rush Limbaugh to insist that YOU protest on the streets to protect HIS wealth?

Is it “patriotic” for well-dressed surburanites to throw money at a man with Parkinson’s disease and demand that he seek a “handout” somewhere else?

Is it “patriotic” for middle-aged to elderly white folks to gather at the Capitol, spit and hurl racist epithets at elected members of congress, demanding government “get their hands out of our health care” while insisting on increased Medicare benefits and Social Security?

Is it “patriotic” for a candidate for congress to use poorly costumed actors representing Revolutionary War figures to presume that they would agree with your xenophobic, anti-tax, anti-immigrant, anti-everything agenda and call for armed revolution, as in, “Gentlemen, GATHER YOUR ARMIES”?

Is it “patriotic” to foment hatred against people of a different religion when this country was founded on the very basis of freedom of (and, therefore by logic, FROM) religion?

Is it “patriotic” at a time when your taxes are at their lowest level since the Truman administration to scream about “high taxes” without being willing to sacrifice the things YOU like that the government pays for?  Your Medicare?  Your Social Security?

Is it “patriotic” to call the unemployed “lazy” and “spoiled” after the previous administration’s economic policies nearly caused a new Great Depression?

Is it “patriotic” to say that your country was founded by a Christian God who is losing patience with our “wicked ways” and that AIDS, Katrina, 9/11 and now the oil spill are his “judgment” for our not being Jesus-y enough?”

Is it “patriotic” to twist the words of our nation’s founders to make them appear to be fundamentalist Christians when, in fact, so many of them were anything but?

Is it “patriotic” to say that the war in Afghanistan is “a war of Obama’s choosing” that “America did not want to prosecute” even though the war was started in the days after 9/11 by President Bush, who abandoned the war to chase after ghost WMDs in Iraq so he could “show up” his daddy by getting rid of Hussein?

Is it “patriotic” to gather in the Capitol Mall in DC and demand of others that they “take their country back” from the lawfully elected government — by armed force if necessary?

It seems very odd to me that so many Republican and Tea Party activists refer to themselves as “extremely patriotic” when, in fact, their words, their signs, their actions demonstrate a hatred for this country, its democracy, its legally-elected government.

Is this just more “newspeak” ala Orwell’s “1984” where “Treason” is redefined as “Extreme Patriotism”?

I guess it all depends on who gets to write the history books of the future.  If the Texas Board of Education gives us any clue of how that will go… “patriotic” Americans should be trembling with rage at the thought.

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