My World of Parkinsonian Delights

Weird Things, Man! Weird Things!

Weird things are happening, man!

So I’m laying there in bed this morning, not asleep but not quite awake.  My eyes are closed.  Out of the corner of my right eye, I see a small, red flash.  Like an LED.  Then a green flash.  Then a red one.  Then a green one.  A red one again.  Then a green one.  Then I realize there’s nothing in my room that flashes red or green above the closet, where these lights would have been.  I snapped open my eyes and looked.

Nothing.  It was 4:30.  I closed my eyes, and an instant later it was 6.

Raven was still on the floor.  “OH MY GOD,” I thought… “GAIL DIED DURING THE NIGHT!”  (See, Gail usually gets up to pee around 5:30, gathers the dogs, takes them out, then craps out on the couch until I get up.)

Raven had been lying motionless on the floor but she quickly noticed me looking at her.

“JOY IN THE MORNING!!!” She jumped to her feet and came wiggling over to my bed.  She started whining.  “Gotta pee, dad, gotta pee real bad!”  Then she went and bumped Gail’s bed.  She was not dead.  She was only sleeping.

“You getting up,” she asked me.  “Yeah,” I said.  “Stay put for a little while, get some more sleep.”

So I got up, did the usual morning things, recorded two podcasts for work, recorded and posted Episode #11 of “No Doorway Wide Enough” for Podiobooks (it’ll be on the site tomorrow), and noticed that my right hip feels like I fell on it.  I don’t recall bumping it, falling, or doing anything to it.  It doesn’t hurt to touch, it wasn’t bruised, but every step I take, it feels like I got a hip pointer playing defense for the Packers (why can’t I ever have a dream about playing with the Packers, instead of this dead relative, bad radio station, truck driving crap I have every night?)

So, two mysteries today.  The mystery of the flashing red and green lights, and the mystery of why my freakin’ hip hurts.

Sometimes, I think Gail hits me in my sleep.  She says she doesn’t and if she ever wants to, she’ll wake me up first.


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