My World of Parkinsonian Delights

Studies That Make You Say “Duh?”

Sometimes I’ll stumble across one of these Parkinson’s disease studies, and my first reaction will be, “Duh?  You didn’t, like, KNOW that?  From LOOKING?”

This one for instance. A study on the impact and factors associated with drooling and Parkinson’s disease.

Guess what they came up with as a conclusion?

PD droolers had worse quality of life and had more difficulty speaking, eating and socially interacting compared to PD non-droolers.

DUH!

Do you know a drooler who ENJOYS drooling?  Did they think it was EASIER to talk when you’ve got a mouthful of saliva?  Did they think EATING might just be a LITTLE easier with a yap full of drool?  And social interactions?  Margaret, PLEASE!

“Oh, hello Mabel.  (Slurp!)  That’s a lovely dress you’re wearing.  (Sluuuuurp!)  Oh, the bib? (Drool.)  Whoops!  Some got away that time.  (Slurrrrrp!)  Well, I guess that answered the question for you, didn’t it?  (Slurrrrrp.)  So, what’s the plan?  (Awwwwk…. hawwwwwwwwk….. gag…. guh!)  Sorry,  A little went down the wrong way.  (Slup.)  What do you say we go get some corn on the cob?  (Slurrrrrrrrrrp!)”

I’m sure there must be something I’m missing here, some deep scientific THING they needed to determine in this study, but the results just kinda floored me.  I drooled in public one time, I mean REALLY drooled, bent over and had a string of saliva slip from my lips to the mall floor.  I was humiliated.

Seems by using common sense we could save quite a bit of research money.  But that’s just me, I guess.

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