Eeeek! Muslims! Eeeek!
Muslims tipped over my garbage and made a mess.
Muslims kept me up all night with their incessant ululating.
Muslims ruined my fish fry with their call to prayer from their mosque minarets.
Muslims killed my cat.
Muslims marked their territory in my yard by peeing on the side of my house.
Muslims dumped a shitload of oil in the Gulf of Mexico and now they’re dancing in the streets on the West Bank.
Muslims caused 5.4 million people around the world to die from smoking, Muslims killed over 16,000 Americans in 2006 by drunk driving.
Muslims killed Michael Jackson.
Muslims pushed Zsa Zsa Gabor out of her bed and broke her hip, poor thing.
Muslims caused BOTH Space Shuttle disasters!
The mysterious “second gunman” behind the grassy knoll in Dallas in November 1963? Muslim!
Muslims fed cookies and drugs to Anna Nicole Smith until she got fat and overdosed.
Muslims caused my Parkinson’s disease.
We can not allow Muslims to have a mosque community center in Mid-Tennessee because that’s where JESUS lives!
We can not allow Muslims ANY rights WHATSOEVER, because if you give them an inch they’ll blow up a car in Time Square… or at least, they’ll try to. Or they could try to set their underwear on fire. Or they could try to ignite a shoe bomb.
We must FEAR the Muslims. They HATE us because of our FREEDOMS! So, let’s get RID of those pesky freedoms — the 4th Amendment means VICTORY for Muslims. Needing to get a warrant to tap a phone line means Osama HIMSELF can place a collect phone call to your mother! Freedom of religion, as any American history scholar knows, only applies to WHITE, CHRISTIAN religions, although certain allowances can be made for the Negros (if they keep their yaps shut about equality or else, BOOM!) and Jews (as long as they keep that stuff up in New York and not in the Bible Belt.)
There is NO ROOM in our society for these brown, dark-skinned, swarthy, coarse-haired, well-tanned, worshippers of a false, smelly “god.” And if we sometimes mistake a Hindu for a Muslim and blow up their storefronts, well… that’s the price you pay for LOOKING kinda like a Muslim.
This country was founded on FREEDOM. And that means the freedom to believe in JESUS any way you want to.
And that’s why I’m against building a mosque community center in New York City near Ground Zero.