My World of Parkinsonian Delights

Austrian University Seeks “Little Miss Muffets” for Fear Study

Got a little girl in your family, 8-13 years old?  Scared of spiders?  Do we have a medical study for YOU!

According to an article on Reuters, a university in Austria (not Australia — that’s the place with Kangaroos.   Austria is where Hitler came from.  Big difference.) wants to SCARE your little girl!  With SPIDERS!  So they can study her BRAIN!

This sounds uniquely Germanic, if you ask me.

The girls will be shown pictures of the eight-legged crawlers and their brainwaves will be registered. They will also undergo free fear therapy with specialists. The researchers hope the results will help them develop their phobia treatments.

“Spiders provoke revulsion for many people and even set off fearful panic. Girls in particular are frequently affected,” the university said.

I can imagine…

“Vat’s der matter, meine kleine liebchen?  Iss you afraid?  Afraid uff der SPIDER?”  And they show a tarantula eating a bird on the screen.

“Oh, don’t vorry, kleine madchen.  Dere are no spiders here.  Except for maybe… IN DIS BOX?”

And he holds out a box containing a picture of a tarantula eating a little girl.

“Oh, ho, ho!  You haff dampened yourself, meine fraulein!  Zere is extra PUNISHMENT for dat!  Mit SPIDERS!”

And she’s dropped down a trap door into a room filled with spiders as they measure her brainwaves until they flatline.

“Und dat iss how ve learn about der fear uff der spiders,” the scientist said.

No word on whether girls must provide their own tuffets, or if curds and whey will be provided.

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