My World of Parkinsonian Delights

I Got a Bad Case of the Empties

I got a bad case of the empties.  The blanks.

Gail is at the store.  I have a black border collie at my feet, using my right foot as her pillow.  In the absence of any outside stimulus, I would be perfectly content to sit here and stare at a blank screen.  All day.

I’m not sad.  I’m not happy.  I’m nothing.  Flatlined.  My brain seems to be just kinda occupying space in my skull.  Last night, I had particular difficulty speaking… getting stuck on syllables, words coming out in a rush.  That’s not so much of a problem today.

Parkinson’s disease.  My lifetime companion.

Gail is my soulmate.  She’s my OTHER lifetime companion.  She’s gonna come home with chicken.  Did I mention that?

Really enjoyed my interview with Warren Krech at KWOS Radio in Jefferson City, Mo. yesterday.  Total books sold since then?  Zilch.  Zip.  Zero.  Maybe I’m just a shitty writer with nothing interesting to say.

If I hear a TV commentator say “Larry King is hanging up his suspenders” ONE MORE TIME, I shall run amok.

Not that I’m hung up on selling books.  I’d love to make a less-than-embarrassing donation to my PD charities.  But if folks ain’t interested, then they just ain’t interested.

If Parkinson’s disease happened only to attractive redheads with knockout gazongas and the disease caused uncontrollable nymphomania, betcha THEN it would get some notice.  But most of us are old, a lot of us can’t hit the ball out of the park anymore (wink-wink), we’re twitchy, we drool, we talk funny, we walk funny, we remind people of their own impending death.

Try writing a funny book about THAT!

(Oh, wait… I did.  It’s available here.)

Where’s Gail with that chicken?

Did my 20 minutes on the bike this morning.  Still have to do my PT walking/balancing exercises.  And the Wii Fit is a naggy little bitch if you miss a couple days, so I suppose I’ll have to do some of THAT, too!

My day.

Up at about 6:30.

Take pills.  Losinipril and Metoprolol for blood pressure.  Stalevo for PD.  Zoloft to keep from jumping (very slowly) in front of a bus.  Prilosec, because it works.

Check work e-mails.

Open the Patient Recruitment/Public Liaison mail folder.

Toss out the spam, divide the “good” e-mails to whoever is supposed to get them for that day.

Check out blog to see how many dropped by during the night.  (Take a few minutes to get over the disappointment.)

See if I sold any books overnight.  (A couple more minutes to get over the disappointment.)

Make cappuccino for Gail.  Make cappuccino for me.  Drink said cappuccino.

20 minutes on the exercise bike.

Shower.  Shave.

Plant myself here at the computer and put out fires as they flare up.

If things are slow, do my PT walking and balance exercises.

Take 11am Stalevo.

Eat Lunch.

Plant myself here, record podcasts, put out fires as they flare up.

If things are slow, do my Wii Fit workout.

Take 4pm Stalevo.

Watch Law and Order reruns.

Have a glass of wine.

Watch the Daily Show replay.  Then Colbert rerun.

Have a glass of wine.

Take nighttime pills.  2mg of Klonopin to stop the nighttime screaming and slapping and kicking.  Ambien to get me to sleep in the first place.  Dulcolax to make the following morning less of a blood festival.

Go to bed.

No WONDER I’m usually so friggin’ tired allatime!!!

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