I Remember Having a Memory
For instance, at Cognicheck, they have a fairly comprehensive memory test. Here’s what they say about themselves.
CogniCheck Online Memory Screenings are designed to provide individuals between 45 and 86 years of age with a readily accessible and affordable means to screen aspects of their verbal and visual memory processes online, and in the privacy and comfort of their homes or offices. The types of memory processes that are assessed in these screenings are similar to ones that are commonly evaluated by licensed neuropsychologists in clinical practice.
That seems pretty impressive.
Wait! There’s more!
Each CogniCheck Online Memory Screening consists of three different memory screenings tests, known collectively as the Computer Reliant Evaluative and Web Screening (CREWS) Tests of Neuropsychological Functioning. These memory screenings tests were developed by university-affiliated, licensed clinical neuropsychologists with extensive experience in the neuropsychological assessment/ screening of persons presenting with memory complaints (see “Professional Credentials” for an overview of the authors’ qualifications).
The CREWS Tests of Neuropsychological Functioning have been standardized, normed, and scientifically evaluated in samples of individuals between 45 and 86 years of age who lived in the United States (see “Psychometric Properties” for an overview). While these memory screenings may prove beneficial in identifying memory problems (or within normal limits performances), they are intended to be utilized only as screening tools and for informational purposes, and they are not designed, or intended, in any way to be conclusive or to provide definitive diagnoses, recommendations, and/or treatments, nor are they designed to be utilized as substitutes for comprehensive evaluations, recommendations, and/or treatments, by licensed health care professionals, or intended to be used in any litigation or other legal proceedings.
Ah! Not too shabby. Low average in the immediate verbal and delayed verbal recall. But average in the short delay verbal recall, delayed verbal recognition, immediate recognition of faces and immediate recall of number series!
I stumbled across this test today and decided to retake it to see if there has been any improvement or deterioration. I wonder how I did!
Well, Hully Gully, Maw! I did a quite a bit better than January in the digit recall, going to the 67th percentile from the 35th. And I maintained my score in the 36th percentile in the delayed verbal recognition and my vaunted position in the 20th percentile in the delayed verbal recall.
In the Immediate Verbal Recall I fell from the 28th percentile (low average) to the 14th (mildly impaired).
In the Short Delay Verbal Recall I fell from the 45th percentile (average) to the 20th (low average).
In the Immediate Recognition of Faces, I plummeted from the 69th percentile (average) to the 8th (moderately impaired).
In the Delayed Recognition of Faces, I dropped like a rock from the 82nd percentile (high average) to the 6th (moderately impaired).
My brain is turning into a soft pudding in its ready-to-serve bone bowl.
They say that in Parkinson’s disease, the memory is the second thing to go. I forgot what the first thing was.