Things to Discuss with the Neurologist
My next visit with my neurologist is a week from tomorrow. I gotta put together a list of things that I want to discuss with him, things that have changed for the better, for the worse, and things that I have questions about.
My top concern is this fluctuating attention thing. Even now, I feel less focused than I did when I got up this morning a couple hours ago. I go from being sharp as a tack and able to write witty, compelling copy, to sitting here staring at an empty screen and the useless keyboard without a thought in my head.
Then there’s the question of apathy. Late last week, I was like a man on fire. I wanted to get as many podcasts done as I could — even though I had a slurry, raspy voice. I felt energetic and rarin’ to go. When I’m at the other end of that scale, it takes an imminent deadline to move me into action. If I don’t have to do it now, then to hell with it. At the moment, I’m sorta swinging from the high end to the low end of that scale. So I’d better get as much done this morning as I can.
Then there’s this “losing my train of thought” thing. I’ll be working on the blog or on a podcast or on some other writing project and something will occur to me that I need to fix, or check, or take another look at, and just as quick as I think about it… I forget. This blog, for instance… I’ve changed the landing page to reflect my efforts to sell some friggin’ books. (And if you haven’t bought a copy of Deep Brain Diary yet, mind if I ask why not? I’m not making a nickel from this book — all proceeds are going to PD Research.) I’ll see something in a widget or a misspelling or an improper punctuation and go to the page in the edit mode to fix it, and when I get there, I’ve forgotten what I’ve come there to fix. I have to retrace my steps and hopefully remember what it was that needs fixing. For instance, there’s a “/” in the middle footer of my landing page now that I’ve been wanting to remove since yesterday afternoon — and I keep forgetting to do it.
My motor symptoms are about the same as they were at my last visit, I suppose. My hands still work pretty well, although I find myself hitting the wrong keys a lot more these days. I’ve learned new ways to walk during physical therapy — remembering to do it is another thing. I know I’m supposed to stand up straight, yet I slump unless I either remind myself or am reminded. I can take bigger steps, but unless I remind myself, I still shuffle. It feels unnatural and it’s hard to remember to do it.
So, we’ll see what else I can think of in the 8 days until the appointment. In the meantime, I’d better get to some of this work that’s piling up and get it done while I still feel a little bit of steam in my engines.