My World of Parkinsonian Delights

On Wii, I'm an Athlete! Here In the Real World? Not So Much.

Last night before watching the Simpsons, I fired up the Wii and bowled a few frames.  You are looking at the result of my final game.  My first game was a 195, my second was a 192, and finally a 224!  That’s a 204 average!

In the Wii World, I am a CHAMPION!

In the real world, however, I remain a staggering, halting, slurring, stumblebum because of my Parkinson’s disease.  If I were to attempt a REAL game of bowling, I would lose my balance and paint the lane with my face every time I tried to hurl the boulder.

This afternoon, for instance.

We’re done with physical therapy and we’re making our way to the car.  I’ve just spent over an hour working on my balance and walking and having my sore left shoulder worked on.  I’m standing up straight and taking big steps and cruising along fairly well — slowly, but relentlessly.  Then my cane hits something.  I look down.  I’m not SUPPOSED to look down while I’m walking.  But it was because I WASN’T looking down, my cane got stuck into something.  It’s a crack in the sidewalk.  My feet see this crack and squeal like little girls.

“WE can’t step over THAT!!!!”

And they freeze solid.  I start to rock myself in an attempt to urge my cowardly, frozen feet onward.

And I feel myself starting to tip backwards.  I try to use my leg muscles to move my body mass forward, but all I’m doing is poking my butt out backwards and taking my center of gravity in the wrong way.  I reach the tipping point — the point of no return — and I take five or six tiny little backwards step as I start to fall and the only thing that kept me from cracking my freshly shaved and beautiful head on the sidewalk like an egg is the fact that Gail rushed up to grab me and use her body to stop my retropulsion.

If I had fallen on that sidewalk, I would have been seriously injured.  Gail saved me.  And not for the first time.

This is why I can’t go anywhere by myself.  One second, I’m cruising along nicely, the next second I freeze and in the effort to unfreeze myself, I fall and crush my skull or break my hip.

But in the WII world… I am KING!

Ya takes what ya can gets!

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