Excitement Abounds at the Dog Ranch
Just in case you don’t think I lead an exciting life…
Last night I hobbled into the living room and found my recliner occupied by a German Shepherd. I motioned for the pooch to vacate the chair (because I’m the meanest man in the world), but immediately motioned for her to come sit in my lap if she wanted to.
Shiloh looked at me with an expression that spoke of horror and disgust. “Sit? On your LAP? Like a POODLE? I don’t THINK so, sir!”
(Side note: Raven, the border collie, WILL sit on your lap. She will sit on your chest. She will sprawl out across your body. She sees herself as a very tiny, fluffy, petite little princess.)
Instead, Shiloh walked over to the couch and gave Gail a stare. Raven was taking up most of the couch. Shiloh was clearly indicating that a kind mother, a JUST mother, would force Raven off the couch and give the space to Shiloh. Raven, on the other hand, was studiously not looking at anyone, because if you LOOK at someone and they SEE you looking, they might tell you to move. So, best to avoid eye contact until the situation resolves itself.
Gail scooted over to her right as far as she could go. Raven didn’t budge an inch. This left a small patch of couch for Shiloh to climb up upon. Which she did. Ordinarily, these dogs (who get along very nicely as long as nobody is TOUCHING each other) can’t stand to lay side by side, unless they’re negotiating over a toy in a spirited game of “Hoggy Doggy.” (The game: One dog HAS the toy, the other dog WANTS the toy. The toy possessor lays with the toy or ball between her front paws and looks away. The dog who WANTS the toy makes soft, growling noises, looks away, and attempts — without looking — to nudge the ball or toy from between the possesser’s front paws.)
This time, Shiloh snuggled in right beside her Mom. Raven looked at me with a mixture of horror and disgust.
“Dad! There’s a DOG! And it’s TOUCHING me.”
It went on like this for about a half hour until a disgusted Shiloh jumped down from the couch to lay on the floor and give us all dirty looks.
This made Raven very happy, and she sat with her face on the arm of the couch giving me sweet “I love you” looks.
And so it goes on the Schmalfeldt dog ranch.