My World of Parkinsonian Delights

The Curse of Nightly Throat Crud!

OK, I pretty much spend all day (ahem) clearing my throat and (ahem) driving Gail nuts.  But it gets worse at night.

Last night was the worst ever.  I would be in the middle of saying something and all of a sudden (clot!) have to stop because a wad of throat crud got caught in my vocal cords.  This happened over and over again.  And my voice was nothing more than a hoarse whisper.

This morning, not so bad.  But I am under no illusion that tonight will be any different.  This is something that has been going on for a few months now, and it’s frustrating.  The newly-acquired stu… stu… stu… stu… (take a deep breath and concentrate) STUTTER is bad enough.  But when you combine the stutter with (clot!) — AHEM!!! — the nightly throat crud… it’s more frustrating than ever.

The Parkinson’s disease literature offers many reasons for this nightly collection of crud:  My chest muscles aren’t limber enough to allow for proper deep breathing, so the crud just kinda piles up until it reaches a tipping point.  Also, I’m less able to properly manage my saliva and it leaks into my trachea and makes me clear my throat until Gail wants to shove a knitting needle into my eye.  Also, I seem to be a “silent aspirator”, meaning I inhale small bits of food and drink when I consume… and eventually that crap’s gotta come out or I’ll get pneumonia.

Gail has offered some ideas that she thinks might help.  Drano, Liquid Plumber, shoving a doggie toy down my throat, and her most recent idea, the lint brush from the dryer.

All of these ideas would certainly work.  Let’s just hope I can retain enough of my cognitive abilities to continue resisting them.

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